These are things I ponder

The nice thing about an English muffin is that it has two halves.

For the conscientious dieter, the English muffin is a friend. Pausing at the refrigerator, contemplating what to pair with my poached eggs, I toy with the idea of one piece of white toast…. Yes, but why stop at one, when I can have two pieces of “bread” guilt-free?

The guilt-free part, you see, is two-fold.

Firstly: Who, in their right mind, would (in their effort to be calorie efficient) break open an English muffin, wrap up one half, and continue on with the first half as if nothing ever happened. You will inevitably be affronted with “who did this?” by an appalled male family member — left hopelessly to explain your dieting theories and eventually simply swipe the plastic-wrapped muffin-half from his confused, sweaty hands. You will now toast this half, eat it, and wonder if 60 calories was worth it.

Secondly: At 120 calories per muffin, who can complain? You’re getting a whole breakfast sandwich without having to choose to eat one piece of bread. Your breakfast has been chosen for you once you decide to go with the English muffin. There is no option of eating one half, and 120 calories of nooks n’ crannies,  won’t harm your waste-line (unless of course you like your nooks n’ crannies dripping with melted butter…).

I ponder these things because today we find out if we’ve been approved for our apartment. By this afternoon, I will either be delighted that I’ve written this paragraph before the news, or mortified. Mulling over the nuances of the English muffin calms me and ultimately completes my morning. Eating the English muffin does the same.

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